Divided by Zero
by Izzu
Summary: Hello Monster. Suppose... you can say, it's a calculation mishap?
1. From Zero

I'm sorry if this is too cheesy or boring. I read this so many times I'm not even sure. Romance totally not my forte.

* * *

 _Who are you?_

How did it started? Beginning from the time when she started running after him? But this feeling... despite the annoyance he initially felt—it seemed... familiar? Why is it so? Have she chased after him before... to give him this familiar feeling? Was that why he asked her who she was?

 _ **But...**_

 _ **Does it really matter?**_

xxx

When he had no where to go, the first reasoning was to go after her. It's just logic. He argued that she must have known him somehow before, so she should help him out. But then he ended up finding out anyway. Her connection to him. At first it was just a wild guess and then it was an unexpected coincidence. Yet, even after knowing who she was... it doesn't stop him from being drawn towards her again.

 _ **Why?**_

He tried to push her away—oh yes, he did—in an attempt to distance himself from other unrelated issues that may distract him from his main purpose. Yet for some reason he could not tear himself away from her. Because the more he stayed by her side, the more he knew about her. The more he needed her.

 _ **Someone who could understand him.**_

It seemed so strange. How he felt so comfortable with her. That despite how many times he liked to tease her, no matter how many times she kept coming towards him; he didn't find it to be an annoyance. That he found himself comfortable of sharing his thoughts with her, to even allow her to get so close. That he felt a smidgen of pain in his heart at the thought of her thinking ill of him.

 _ **When did all of that started?**_

From zero? Or was there an actual value that existed before without him knowing? Because if it did started from zero, when did the value started to add up? Since when?

xxx

"You are not a monster. If you think you are, then you're wrong."

It seemed so strange to feel delightful at hearing her say those words. Considering the fact it could be a lie. Yet her eyes don't lie and his heart desperately wanted to cling to her every words. Because to have her not to think of him in a bad way, it was important to him.

To have someone not think of him as a _monster_.

xxx

 _"Find Cha Jian!"_

To think that he could be so much in distress over a few words uttered. It was irrational, to think he would be unable to keep his emotions in control.

 _ **Because she was strong, she always was. She could take care of herself until he comes to get her. So what was this fear?**_

Compared to the incident before, this was the worst. Because the sense of danger this time was higher. Because the chance of Cha Jian dying this time was higher. This fear, it's been a long time since he felt this fear. The last time he ever felt this much distress, was during the night Lee Junyeong came to their house and killed his father. To think he would feel this way again..

 _ **Then again, his time had started to move again now... because of her.**_

Yet, the relief he felt once Jian was safe again. How could it be possible to have such extreme fluctuation of emotions in such a short period of time? Still, that led him to return to that initial question.

Who are you, Cha Jian?

 _What value are you... to me?_


	2. Slip

_"I found an old article in the library, I'm attaching it with this message..."_

Hyeon took a look on the article and frowned.

"That's weird..."

It was as if a missing piece of an essential formula had suddenly descended unto the equation, making it complete. A formula, that connected two disconnected equations... so that it could make sense. A live-in girlfriend, who died after a reinforcing bar pierced through her body during the accident that happened while they were trying to flee. A violent death.

That would've given the perp enough motive to bear a grudge against his father. That would be reason enough for Cho Yongu to want to kill hi—no, his father was dead. Even if that man kill him, there won't be a point to it because his father was _already dead_. That won't satisfy Cho Yongu's thirst for revenge.

If that man's thinking was so simple, _he_ won't send to him that picture of the homeless man; killed in the same specific manner as the dead girlfriend's. That was a message, as to what kind of violence that would be inflicted towards him.

"If it was me, I wouldn't kill me but...!"

 _Eye for an eye, tooth for a tooth..._

 _The most agonizing pain that could be inflicted..._

... Cho wasn't after his life. That man would want him to suffer in his father's place. A dead girlfriend. Loved ones. Girlfriend. Cho would target his loved ones, people important to him. That person shouldn't know about Min, so...

There's only one answer.

Cha Jian.

xxx

"...he's aiming for people precious to me. So that I can experience... the same pain as he did."

Because that should be the only probable conclusion. Because Cho Yongu shouldn't be aware about Min. So if Cho had only been watching him recently, he shouldn't be able to find out...

"Precious... person?" Hyeon blinked.

Wait. Backtrack. How did that slipped?

"Let's hang up."

xxx

To think he had started, not expecting to get anything more but; the answers to the questions he wanted answers to and of finding Min. But he ended up gaining something else, and receiving even more.

He came back, thinking only to achieve the set goals he started with... yet now ended up gaining someone else who was just as important. To think that someone could mean so much to him, as much as Min. To think that someone, he never allowed to get close to him before... turned into someone that he couldn't bear to lose. To be honest, even if he could try giving a score between Min and Jian as to whom he treasured more...perhaps he could not do that. How could you choose between the person you love due to the bonds of blood, and the person close to your heart?

He had a good scare. He almost lost Min; and he could have also lost Jian.

"We needed to clear this matter first. We needed to know what Cho Yongu was really after..."

Hyeon brushed away his thoughts and glanced towards Kang Eunhyeok, as the rest of the team trained their eyes towards him.

xxx

"...that's why I thought Cha Jian was in danger."

To be clear, he never thought of himself as someone who's very honest in speaking his own mind. And after 'falling in love', he didn't expect _that_ to change much. Because his thoughts were most always composed. He don't _usually_ tend to say everything that popped up inside his head. So why now? As if unthinkingly telling Cha Jian that he liked her a lot was bad.

Those men unfortunately, picked up on the slip quickly enough.

"W-wait... was Jian threatened as well?"

Shit.


	3. Plus Alpha

_"...so that was why I thought Cha Jian was in danger."_

If only there was a way to turn back time... and undo the things said and done. Because how else should he undo the slip caused by the sudden malfunction of his brain's thought process? Of all the times, his brain had to be so muddled right now that he could only thought on Jian, Jian, Jian and nothing else.

Aside from Min...

"I mean, as in why Cha Jian would be targeted, that's easy..."

It was a saving grace that he was so quick thinking. Because if there was a need to divert the topic away, this was one of those times. Because of all things he didn't want the team to find out, it was the relationship he had with Jian. Not like it was a big deal, but the team had Detective Son Myeongu. And like hell he'd ever let that guy be aware of something so personal...

"So, if I had to give a score... 15 points, 15 points, 15 points... three points," he said in passing while pointing at the respective members.

"You're zero points for me!" exclaimed said Detective Son.

Hyeon laughed. So easy. How easy was it to change the topic from the main focus.

"But then, what score was it for Jian?"

Hyeon immediately glanced towards Jian as he noticed her discomfort. This team was just too happy to probe further about his personal, unnecessary details.

He could certainly lie about it, and give a random higher number of course. But having an actual number would still spark even more question from them, so it wouldn't have any merit to him at all. And Jian was here, so... if he let out a false answer she would certainly assume that he was telling the truth...then, it's not wise either. To state the actual value, or lie about it. But he still would have to say something, right?

"... it's 15 points plus alpha."

xxx

"The score... what did you mean with 15 plus alpha? What's _alpha_?"

After everything that happened between them, you'd think Jian would have been able to grasp on the clues...

"...but since this was a mathematical question, let's take an example with Fermat's Last Theorem. That theory states that no three positive integers a, b, and c can satisfy the equation a to the power of n plus b to the power of n equal c to the power of n for any integer value of n greater than two..."

For a second, he sort of regretted raising the topic of the scores... yet he had to admit that it was a convenient thing, to use numbers as a stepping stone to determine how much one liked someone. Because just trying to use mere words might seemed empty, but saying that it was 100 might seemed fake. Because he couldn't really say that Jian's score was _really_ 100, when she deserved even more.

 _Come to think, he couldn't quantify Min's score either..._

"I don't get it."

You'd think... after the slip at the station earlier, as well as the outright confession from the other night; Jian would have already figured it out. Like seriously, they were talking about Cho Yongu's girlfriend dying in a violent incident... and the first thought he had in mind was of Jian. And he hadn't even thought that Min could be the target, because the two points don't really connect in an obvious way.

Even as the confession was unintentional, he practically did let out to her that he do consider her to be his...

"...it means it cannot be defined. It cannot be calculated." It could be infinity, for all that matter. It was similar to taking any number and dividing it with zero. There could be no definite answer.

And finally it seemed that she finally gets it so he just—just how insecure was she to not be able to believe that he could earnestly have liked her?

 _"Get lost!"_

Suddenly he recalled all those times he told her to get away from him. Suddenly he felt so foolish.

 _"Ah..."_

He's _so_ not good at this _love_ thing. But... to even admit that he couldn't quantify just how much Cha Jian means to him, that must have meant that he really has fallen deep.

Hyeon suddenly felt a tingling on his cheeks as he chuckled nervously.

 _Ah, this was so awkward._


End file.
